I recently finished reading a fictitious account of Monet's life called "Claude and Camille" by Stephanie Cowell. I'd read two of her previous books, fictitious accounts of the lives of Shakespeare and a woman who marries Mozart. She's a good writer. But that's not why I read the book about Monet.
You see, I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I am an artist. This new identity has only been with me for about 9 months now. I'm still not used to it. When people I meet ask me what I do and I say I am an artist, it feels strange.
So I guess I read the book in search of something to help myself come to peace with being an artist. So did the book help? Well, yes and no. Monet certainly didn't have the happiest life. He fell madly in love with Camille, his muse/model, and finally married her only to have her die a few years later. If the book is historically accurate, he was very narcissistic (or at least completely obsessed with his work), and he flipped out and slashed canvases he wasn't pleased with. Fascinating but depressing to say the least. But what I did get from the book is that many of the emotional struggles I am encountering in being an artist are universal and timeless. Not selling as much as I want. Fighting the need for affirmation from the world that my work is worthy. Questioning my ability. Accepting my "artistic temperment."
And now the reading continues. I went to the library in search of escapist British chick lit. (Go ahead and laugh if you will!) but came home with another fictitious novel called "The Painted Kiss" by Elizabeth Hickey. The story is told from the point of view of Gustav Klimt's muse, Emilie. I'm only part-way through so I can't say much about the book, but it is also perhaps in some subtle way helping me comes to terms with or understand who I am. Next on the list? "The Wayward Muse" also by Elizabeth Hickey, told from the point of view of the muse of Dante Gabirel Rossetti. So where is all of this reading getting me? Stay tuned.
"Falling Light" (painted while reading "Claude and Camille")
Click for more information about "Falling Light."
